A Technique to Stop Negative Emotions, Habits and Behaviors – Part 3

I developed this simple exercise many years ago in mindful feedback. It is a natural and straightforward process that helps us stop our negativity from externalizing, and over time completely eliminates negative reactions. I have found that it works perfectly, and brings us success if we diligently work on the process, apply its precepts, and overcome impatience, ego judgment, and other obstacles in the way of discipline. Don’t give up on the medium. I can say this since it has worked for me and countless others over the years.

It really helped me hold onto my negativity many years ago, and over time it helped me choose conscious responses over instinctive ones. It gets easier over time, and you’ll see how each step achieved makes the next step even easier. It’s basically an exercise in mindfulness, and helps us see our negative patterns as a being that is different from who we really are.

So we begin today’s lesson by remembering that we are an eternal consciousness and that our nature is to be loving, intelligent and wise. Our personality is made up of a body of emotions and mental habits, but we are not that; We are a spirit/soul that uses that personality to train how disciplined we are in training that vehicle to express our loving wise intellect. When we express any kind of negativity, it is the personality that confuses who we are, with all the unhelpful learned emotions, speech patterns, and behaviors that only create hopeless patterns in the future.

We all pursue pleasure and happiness, and along the way often find pain and suffering for all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with us personally. Our 5 senses and mind, when trained well, can be useful tools for assessing and evaluating our reality. However, before we train them, our sense impressions and mental illusions obscure many things as we dance along the path of life in this 4 dimensional existence, and the mental processes of sequence, selection, comparison and contrast. Often doesn’t help us see things clearly. Add to the intense sensations feelings of desire, fear, vanity and attachment, and it is easy to see how negative reactions are learned at an early age.

So the lower self obscures our understanding, and to overcome negative reactions we have to remember that the bigger the love we want, the bigger we are. This means that we often grow up when we end up in pain, fear, or confusion as well as unpleasant situations created by the process of letting things and people into our temporary world. Yes, we often get frustrated when we are denied what we like or love, as well as when we encounter negativity in other people. We all want what is pleasurable and worthy of our desire, but usually we do not know whether our desire will give us pleasure or pain.

It is human beings who have the unfortunate tendency to assume all things possible, as well as compare ourselves to others who seem to have it easier than we have or what we want. Of course this is an illusion, because each has its own unique destiny, and we will be deprived of anything that can lead us astray from our higher purpose, or dharma. In this mortal world things are taken away or denied and we move forward whether we want to or not. This is how we deal with our reactions that determine whether we are having a good time or a hard time in this mundane process.

Techniques for overcoming negative reactions

Although there are many schools of thought about how to deal with negative emotions, I don’t think it is useful to include or exclude those types of feelings, as a pattern is a pattern and a habit of expressing unhelpful feelings. I usually only produce more. The spiritual practice I’ve pursued over the years has led me to the view that when faced with our own imperfect and/or negative reaction to something, person, or situation, we should be treated with infinite detachment and detachment. Negativity should be observed. It wakes up and then leaves it however we are able to.

There are 4 stages of realization in this process.

The first stage is when we notice how negative we were in our reactions and feelings after the fact, and resolve to change the behavior “next time”. It generates positive intention and mindfulness which is necessary to channelize negativity. We have to see that we’re acting in ways we don’t want before we can fix it. Our own behavior is our guide, as is the question, “Would we rather be right than be happy?” While sometimes we can be both, usually we express negativity when we are trying to be “right” and act in a way that won’t make us happy.

However, we can’t afford to get too down on ourselves after indulging in passion, as self-hatred is not helpful in generating positive feelings and intention. It would be better if we accept our mistake and then resolve not to go there again. Over time, this naturally leads to the second stage.

The second stage is when we notice the negativity in the middle of the obsession, and during the experience stop the behavior and move our mind and speech in different directions. We can train our brains to “flag” certain feelings, attitudes, reactions, and other learned behaviors and redirect energy to a more productive end.

While at first we will see our negativity when we are in the middle of it, over time we will see that some of our negative reactions have nothing to do with what triggered our negativity. This will take us deeper into the back of our reactivity, or why we believe negative feedback will give us what we want.

The third stage of perception is when we sense that negative feedback begins to arise and we choose not to externalize it. We stop the behavior before it begins, whether by saying something we feel like saying, or by not reacting negatively to whatever comes before us. We are still reacting to the external situation, but not knowingly reacting in a negative way. While suppressing our true self always leads to problems, it is always good to discipline our lower nature.

This is the true beginning of self-control, as we are changing the pattern as it arises and directing our energy in a different direction of our choice. When we practice this kind of dispassion and start noticing what we want to say or do before doing that thing, it becomes easier not to go there. We are allowing our love, wisdom, and intelligence to steer our “ship of personality” toward better thoughts, feelings, and actions.

The fourth stage of realization is when we feel the beginning of a tendency that may be externalized as negativity, and with infinite detachment and detachment to ourselves, see it as something unreal so that it can never be a possible action. Let there be no form of feeling or thought. All. This radical isolation somehow precludes the possibility of any pattern of negativity being externalized even for a short period of time. It is the end result of noticing the patterns we want to change, and then starting to change them so that we can break the tendency to continue that behavior.

Once we learn to stop negative expression, we begin to eliminate the genesis of negativity, because we are not practicing negativity. Ultimately the passions do not control us, nor remain in us as some external being, but merely a prior instinct that gradually weakens and weakens over time until it becomes an alternative. Don’t be

It doesn’t matter whether we’re on stage 1, 2, or 3 of this process in any stressful situation, because judging ourselves for not doing it “good enough” doesn’t eliminate our negativity. Sometimes we “get by” sooner than other times. These are the lessons we are familiar with and readily notice what needs to be changed.

We respond better to some things than others. We can handle some types of negativity better than others. We see some negativity more clearly than others. So no matter how far apart we are, it’s important to be attentive in every conversation to see what pushes our buttons and to examine our inner nature to see why we were triggered, as well. What triggered our negative self-judgment when practicing radical detachment with. And compassion for yourself for being human.

As we become more mindful of what we are saying and feeling and why we are saying and feeling those things, we naturally stop acting out certain patterns. Give and adopt what makes us feel more whole and complete. Knowing what motivates us, we can choose your responses, and eventually eliminate the pattern of all-out exclusion by converting negativity into positivity and altruistic intention. The rewards of following this self-discipline are infinite.

© Copyright 2022 Robert Wilkinson